It's Magic.

Elijah William- Gummy Bear. Flea. Eli. Lil' Guy. Bug.

When i hold him i feel so loved. I feel free..like God gave me a gift of life..that gave me life.
When he lays on my tummy and chest, resting his head on my neck..I see how tiny and innocent he is. How his little arms just dangle to my sides..his little toes curled up against me..Makes me cry to think of it all. He is my baby, my son..and he loves me.

His beautiful eyes staring up at me when he lays on me or when i hold him makes me feel so full inside..so happy. When i found out i was pregnant, i never thought i would feel so happy and full of love when he came. I never knew i would love my life ten times more than before because of his presence..

I try to write how i feel on these blogs about him, my true honest feelings..But it is so difficult to explain. This thing comes over me and i feel like i can fly..I just wanna give him a huge hug..

I wrote him a letter before he was born telling him how much i loved him and how Isaiah and i were blessed to have one of God's creations when we did not deserve it..I told him he was my life, my love. I am saving this letter for him for when he gets older and forgets how much i care for him or love him..when he is in hard times, so i can lift him up like he is lifting me up in my hard times.

I love you baby boy.
Forever and ever.

Mommy..

I am a mommy now.
Gave birth to a beautiful little boy, Elijah William Larson on November 3rd. at 2:07 pm.
Weight: 7.14oz, Length:20 3/4 in.
I fell in love instantly. I always use to say i didn't believe in love at first sight..but this is different.
This feeling..it's amazing. When he looks you in the eyes..the little noises he makes when he sleeps..his little toes and fingers.. I cannot get enough of him.
I had this boyfriend at one point and we use to say we were each other's LOML:Love of my life..
Well, that relationship ended..and kinda crashed the meaning of love for me. I have come to a realization that Elijah is the LOML..That may be weird to some people, but deep in my heart it brings me comfort. The boy i use to say was the LOML meant a lot to me, and then left. So knowing i can have Elijah be the LOML makes the word LOVE mean something so much more to me.. I can't explain. It is an amazing feeling..and i know i will never lose it for him.

I remember singing the worship song 'Blessed Be Your Name'..the lyrics:

"Every blessing You pour out I'll
Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name"

and

"You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name
I will bless Your name"


Always touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes..
It reminds me of losing the boy i thought i was in love with..and getting a baby boy of whom i do not deserve.. God has blessed me so many times in life, brought me through such struggle and trials.. It is so so very amazing to me how one day i feel so alone and stranded in the wilderness, and God lifts me up by showing me how much i have overcome, how much i have achieved..

Elijah is THE most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. I have only had him a week today and i already know he has blessed my life forever.

Being a mommy is great..the overwhelming feeling of love and gratefulness.. I will never look back and regret it. Ever. He has changed my life for the better, and it can only get better from here..

I love my son. I love being a mommy.