Love. It is such an amazing thing. It brings out the best, and the worst in a person.
I am engaged to Caleb Forcum, and could not be happier. I am also pregnant. I just had a Elijah on November 3rd, 2009. It is very soon to be having another, but such a blessing.
God has brought so many amazing things into my life, and this is just another addition.
Caleb and I are getting married soon, and not because I am pregnant, but because we are deeply in love. He is my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
We have an amazing family, and we are truly happy.
This would not of happened if God didn't think we could handle it..and we can.
For all those who judge us, do not make comments and bring us down. We know what we did wrong, and we also know what we are going to do is right. We are so happy right now, we do not need to be put down. Prayers would be awesome. Thank you all very much.
We can't wait for this new chapter in our lives :)
This is when we find out who our true friends are, and who truly care for us <3
Friday, September 3, 2010
Baby on board
Love. It is such an amazing thing. It brings out the best, and the worst in a person.
I am engaged to Caleb Forcum, and could not be happier. I am also pregnant. I just had a Elijah on November 3rd, 2009. It is very soon to be having another, but such a blessing.
God has brought so many amazing things into my life, and this is just another addition.
Caleb and I are getting married soon, and not because I am pregnant, but because we are deeply in love. He is my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
We have an amazing family, and we are truly happy.
This would not of happened if God didn't think we could handle it..and we can.
For all those who judge us, do not make comments and bring us down. We know what we did wrong, and we also know what we are going to do is right. We are so happy right now, we do not need to be put down. Prayers would be awesome. Thank you all very much.
We can't wait for this new chapter in our lives :)
This is when we find out who our true friends are, and who truly care for us <3
I am engaged to Caleb Forcum, and could not be happier. I am also pregnant. I just had a Elijah on November 3rd, 2009. It is very soon to be having another, but such a blessing.
God has brought so many amazing things into my life, and this is just another addition.
Caleb and I are getting married soon, and not because I am pregnant, but because we are deeply in love. He is my best friend, and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
We have an amazing family, and we are truly happy.
This would not of happened if God didn't think we could handle it..and we can.
For all those who judge us, do not make comments and bring us down. We know what we did wrong, and we also know what we are going to do is right. We are so happy right now, we do not need to be put down. Prayers would be awesome. Thank you all very much.
We can't wait for this new chapter in our lives :)
This is when we find out who our true friends are, and who truly care for us <3
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Sometimes..
Now that it's raining more than ever
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
<3
Well I know there's a reason
and I know there's a rhyme
We were meant to be together
That's why
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it's forever
You understand
that
You're always in my heart
You're always on my mind
When it all becomes too much
You're never far behind
And there's no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way
<3
Sometimes breathing is the hardest thing to do..
Sometimes..you know you were meant to be together, you just don't understand how someone could continue something they know hurts you..
Sometimes being right is the hardest thing to do..and letting someone say you are wrong is the easiest..
Being a pushover to everyone around you is so easy..Standing up for yourself is the hardest.
I am so deeply in love..I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to do everything with him..But, when will he realize when too much is..too much? When he crosses the line over and over and over again..Am I just suppose to sit there and take it and be ok when he wants me to be? To do everything he wants because I love him..and ignore what I feel? I am stuck..How do I show I am serious? What did I do to make everything I say a joke..As if I don't care about anything and I will let anyone walk all over me..I just never knew it would end up like this.. I am seriously surprised..
Each time I try to say how I feel or stand up for myself, I get shut down..pushed away, as if I am no one. As if what I say means NOTHING! It should not be like this..
A relationship is a two way street, right? Well..time to take responsibility for yourself, stand up for yourself..Because in the end, we are all truly alone right? Besides God, of course.
I am so lost and hurt right now..what's funny though, is hurt doesn't even matter anymore. The word HURT and my tears mean NOTHING anymore because I say and use them so much..Sucks. No matter how much I use them, they reflect how I feel and they should matter. Right?
I could be wrong about all of this..But right now, I am HURT and I do feel like CRYING..But, I won't. I just needed this..to let it all out. Because, every time I say how I feel, it doesn't seem to make a difference..SO, maybe typing it will? Yea..right.
<3
Know that we'll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
<3
Well I know there's a reason
and I know there's a rhyme
We were meant to be together
That's why
We can roll with the punches
We can stroll hand in hand
And when I say it's forever
You understand
that
You're always in my heart
You're always on my mind
When it all becomes too much
You're never far behind
And there's no one that comes close to you
Could ever take your place
Cause only you can love me this way
<3
Sometimes breathing is the hardest thing to do..
Sometimes..you know you were meant to be together, you just don't understand how someone could continue something they know hurts you..
Sometimes being right is the hardest thing to do..and letting someone say you are wrong is the easiest..
Being a pushover to everyone around you is so easy..Standing up for yourself is the hardest.
I am so deeply in love..I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to do everything with him..But, when will he realize when too much is..too much? When he crosses the line over and over and over again..Am I just suppose to sit there and take it and be ok when he wants me to be? To do everything he wants because I love him..and ignore what I feel? I am stuck..How do I show I am serious? What did I do to make everything I say a joke..As if I don't care about anything and I will let anyone walk all over me..I just never knew it would end up like this.. I am seriously surprised..
Each time I try to say how I feel or stand up for myself, I get shut down..pushed away, as if I am no one. As if what I say means NOTHING! It should not be like this..
A relationship is a two way street, right? Well..time to take responsibility for yourself, stand up for yourself..Because in the end, we are all truly alone right? Besides God, of course.
I am so lost and hurt right now..what's funny though, is hurt doesn't even matter anymore. The word HURT and my tears mean NOTHING anymore because I say and use them so much..Sucks. No matter how much I use them, they reflect how I feel and they should matter. Right?
I could be wrong about all of this..But right now, I am HURT and I do feel like CRYING..But, I won't. I just needed this..to let it all out. Because, every time I say how I feel, it doesn't seem to make a difference..SO, maybe typing it will? Yea..right.
<3
Monday, July 12, 2010
143
You.Won't.Get.Out.Of.My.Mind.
I keep thinking of everything about you.
-You love your family more than anything, besides God.
-You're favorite color is green.
-You are the 3rd oldest of 10 kids.
-You love to bowl.
-Your fettuccine Alfredo is to die for.
-Olive Garden likes to seat you in the back of the restaurant. haha.
-Your favorite movies are Step Brothers and The Hangover.
-You don't like heights.
-You love laughing and having fun.
-You like doing things outdoors more than indoors.
-You WILL be a nurse.
-You have read The Shack multiple times.
-You like to sing.
-You like most all music.
-You want 2 kids.
-Your birthday is June 16th and you are 22.
-You don't like having the same car for a long time.
-You tell your mom everything.
-You look up to your grandparents.
-You want to live in Oregon for the rest of your life.
-You love the store Pac Sun.
-You work at Safeway gas station.
-Your favorite number is 5.
-You have read all the Twilight books.
-You live with your grandparents.
-You are usually not attracted to blondes.
-You are very hairy :)
-You love your Droid.
-Your little sister's name is Amber and you love talking to her when you need space.
-You love Baseball and Basketball.
-You love Jesus <3
-Your middle name is Michael.
-You want to be a kid forever, but at the same time you don't.
-Your mommy lives in Montana.
-You love Elijah William
I know so much more..but this is all I will type.
I love you Caleb Michael Forcum and I want you to be my forever.
I want to learn more about you, and from you.
You are my best friend and I couldn't ask for anyone better :)
I want to be with you and have fun with you.
I want to laugh and scream with you.
I want to make memories with you alone and you and your friends together.
I want you to have fun with your friends and family with or without me there.
I want us to start over..make it like it should have been.
I want a chance for our love to grow. Get stronger.
I want to light this fire again and never let it fade.
I want to do fun things with you!
I want you to have fun with your friends and do crazy things with them, with or without me!
I want to be the best girl friend you have EVER had..and ever will have.
I want to get up in the middle of the night to get you a drink.
I want to scratch your back until you fall asleep, or rub your back or feet after work.
I want to party with you until we both pass out hand in hand :) haha
I want to experience everything with you babe. No one else.
I want to go on trips and adventures.
I want to show the world what's up :)
I want you to talk to girls that are your friends.
I want you to hang out with your buds and drink.
I dont care anymore!
I am here to make you happy, and I was selfish before. I made your life hell.
I want you now more than ever. I lost you and I am trying to get you back because I know I changed and I want to prove it to you while we are walking hand in hand.
I want to make you happy. To have dinner or lunch ready by the time you are off work.
You don't have to stay here with me every night.
I want to ride my bike to Safeway at midnight to get you medicine because you feel sick.
I want to have the house spotless when you get back from work with sports on the T.V. and food on the counter.
I want to be here to make YOU happy.
I want you to heal through the things I do to make you happy while we're together, while you see how I have changed dramatically..
Not having the love of my life for a week feels like an eternity..and I don't want to not have you for any longer. I know I can prove it to you.
Have hope and faith in me..Give me a chance to make your life amazing..not that it isn't right now. Haha.
I am here for YOU.
The bible says that the woman should serve the man and listen to his decisions in the relationship..And that is what I want to do for you. Because you deserve it. So, let ne do it. Let me hang out with you and your friends and you say to me " hey babe get me a beer, will ya?" and I run and grab you and beer and you drive us home after. Its one beer..I dont care. I want to serve you Caleb. Let me make your life easy and happy. That is all I long for.
Please don't drag this on longer..You know you want this as bad as I do, you are hiding it and you are denying it. Take a jump for our love before the fire can't be lite anymore baby. Take that jump with me :)
Will you have me?
Don't think so into it about your trip in February, God has a way of working things out. He really does. Look how he brought us together..The wallet, my graduation photo, it isn't a huge coincidence. Let's use this time we have now to show the world how different we are..How in love we are. Lets use this second chance as if it were the first time we met..Lets restart. It is worth it. Take that wall down..jump over it. Dive into the deep end, because baby, I am here to catch you.
xoxoxo
Forgive me..And lets try this again. For our love deserves a chance..And you deserve to be happy and come here to a loving girl friend who just wants what you want..happiness and fun. I am all in for this one babe.. Trust me. :)
I want YOU.
Will you have me back to make you happy and do anything you need?
Have me back..
I keep thinking of everything about you.
-You love your family more than anything, besides God.
-You're favorite color is green.
-You are the 3rd oldest of 10 kids.
-You love to bowl.
-Your fettuccine Alfredo is to die for.
-Olive Garden likes to seat you in the back of the restaurant. haha.
-Your favorite movies are Step Brothers and The Hangover.
-You don't like heights.
-You love laughing and having fun.
-You like doing things outdoors more than indoors.
-You WILL be a nurse.
-You have read The Shack multiple times.
-You like to sing.
-You like most all music.
-You want 2 kids.
-Your birthday is June 16th and you are 22.
-You don't like having the same car for a long time.
-You tell your mom everything.
-You look up to your grandparents.
-You want to live in Oregon for the rest of your life.
-You love the store Pac Sun.
-You work at Safeway gas station.
-Your favorite number is 5.
-You have read all the Twilight books.
-You live with your grandparents.
-You are usually not attracted to blondes.
-You are very hairy :)
-You love your Droid.
-Your little sister's name is Amber and you love talking to her when you need space.
-You love Baseball and Basketball.
-You love Jesus <3
-Your middle name is Michael.
-You want to be a kid forever, but at the same time you don't.
-Your mommy lives in Montana.
-You love Elijah William
I know so much more..but this is all I will type.
I love you Caleb Michael Forcum and I want you to be my forever.
I want to learn more about you, and from you.
You are my best friend and I couldn't ask for anyone better :)
I want to be with you and have fun with you.
I want to laugh and scream with you.
I want to make memories with you alone and you and your friends together.
I want you to have fun with your friends and family with or without me there.
I want us to start over..make it like it should have been.
I want a chance for our love to grow. Get stronger.
I want to light this fire again and never let it fade.
I want to do fun things with you!
I want you to have fun with your friends and do crazy things with them, with or without me!
I want to be the best girl friend you have EVER had..and ever will have.
I want to get up in the middle of the night to get you a drink.
I want to scratch your back until you fall asleep, or rub your back or feet after work.
I want to party with you until we both pass out hand in hand :) haha
I want to experience everything with you babe. No one else.
I want to go on trips and adventures.
I want to show the world what's up :)
I want you to talk to girls that are your friends.
I want you to hang out with your buds and drink.
I dont care anymore!
I am here to make you happy, and I was selfish before. I made your life hell.
I want you now more than ever. I lost you and I am trying to get you back because I know I changed and I want to prove it to you while we are walking hand in hand.
I want to make you happy. To have dinner or lunch ready by the time you are off work.
You don't have to stay here with me every night.
I want to ride my bike to Safeway at midnight to get you medicine because you feel sick.
I want to have the house spotless when you get back from work with sports on the T.V. and food on the counter.
I want to be here to make YOU happy.
I want you to heal through the things I do to make you happy while we're together, while you see how I have changed dramatically..
Not having the love of my life for a week feels like an eternity..and I don't want to not have you for any longer. I know I can prove it to you.
Have hope and faith in me..Give me a chance to make your life amazing..not that it isn't right now. Haha.
I am here for YOU.
The bible says that the woman should serve the man and listen to his decisions in the relationship..And that is what I want to do for you. Because you deserve it. So, let ne do it. Let me hang out with you and your friends and you say to me " hey babe get me a beer, will ya?" and I run and grab you and beer and you drive us home after. Its one beer..I dont care. I want to serve you Caleb. Let me make your life easy and happy. That is all I long for.
Please don't drag this on longer..You know you want this as bad as I do, you are hiding it and you are denying it. Take a jump for our love before the fire can't be lite anymore baby. Take that jump with me :)
Will you have me?
Don't think so into it about your trip in February, God has a way of working things out. He really does. Look how he brought us together..The wallet, my graduation photo, it isn't a huge coincidence. Let's use this time we have now to show the world how different we are..How in love we are. Lets use this second chance as if it were the first time we met..Lets restart. It is worth it. Take that wall down..jump over it. Dive into the deep end, because baby, I am here to catch you.
xoxoxo
Forgive me..And lets try this again. For our love deserves a chance..And you deserve to be happy and come here to a loving girl friend who just wants what you want..happiness and fun. I am all in for this one babe.. Trust me. :)
I want YOU.
Will you have me back to make you happy and do anything you need?
Have me back..
Saturday, July 10, 2010
I'm so so sorry.
My Best Friend- Tim McGraw.
I never had no one
I could count on
I’ve been let down so many times
I was tired of hurtin’
So tired of searchin’
’til you walked into my life
It was a feelin’
I’d never known
And for the first time
I didn’t feel alone
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend, oh yeah
You stand by me
And you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You’re right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble
When we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend
This song..I am so in love with it.
I miss you. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.
I let you in my life with arms wide open..
You left and slammed the door in my face.
I am broken and lost..
I thought about what to do to let my feelings out, so I prayed and talked to God for the longest time. It was the most I have ever prayed at once. Then, I decided to type it out in a blog..And I am sitting here, blank. So drained, I don't even know what to say. I can't do anything without being sad. I am seeking after the Lord more than ever right now..
Maybe I deserve this. Maybe somewhere along the road I messed up and this is what was meant to happen..Maybe.
I have been let down, abandoned so many times. I did think you were different. I thought NO MATTER WHAT you would stick by my side, just like you said..I should of known better though. This isn't the first time someone has done this to me..
I miss you. I think about you all the time..
I am confused, hurt daily, broken and lost.
I need healed. So..I will pray.
Dear Lord, I pray for healing. I ask that whatever is holding me back from being as close to You as I possibly could be, would move. That it would give me room to squeeze by and run into Your loving, warm embrace. I remember how it feels, and I want it once more. I ask for forgiveness of the sins I have committed. I have done wrong. I love You my Lord. Cover me in Your mercy. I need You now..more than ever. No one could ever replace how you make me feel. Your love for me...It is so overwhelming. I want it back..I want it all back. I love You, and I will come back to You.
Amen
I never had no one
I could count on
I’ve been let down so many times
I was tired of hurtin’
So tired of searchin’
’til you walked into my life
It was a feelin’
I’d never known
And for the first time
I didn’t feel alone
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend, oh yeah
You stand by me
And you believe in me
Like nobody ever has
When my world goes crazy
You’re right there to save me
You make me see how much I have
And I still tremble
When we touch
And oh the look in your eyes
When we make love
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend
You’re more than a lover
There could never be another
To make me feel the way you do
Oh we just get closer
I fall in love all over
Everytime I look at you
And I don’t know where I’d be
Without you here with me
Life with you makes perfect sense
You’re my best friend
You’re my best friend
This song..I am so in love with it.
I miss you. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second.
I let you in my life with arms wide open..
You left and slammed the door in my face.
I am broken and lost..
I thought about what to do to let my feelings out, so I prayed and talked to God for the longest time. It was the most I have ever prayed at once. Then, I decided to type it out in a blog..And I am sitting here, blank. So drained, I don't even know what to say. I can't do anything without being sad. I am seeking after the Lord more than ever right now..
Maybe I deserve this. Maybe somewhere along the road I messed up and this is what was meant to happen..Maybe.
I have been let down, abandoned so many times. I did think you were different. I thought NO MATTER WHAT you would stick by my side, just like you said..I should of known better though. This isn't the first time someone has done this to me..
I miss you. I think about you all the time..
I am confused, hurt daily, broken and lost.
I need healed. So..I will pray.
Dear Lord, I pray for healing. I ask that whatever is holding me back from being as close to You as I possibly could be, would move. That it would give me room to squeeze by and run into Your loving, warm embrace. I remember how it feels, and I want it once more. I ask for forgiveness of the sins I have committed. I have done wrong. I love You my Lord. Cover me in Your mercy. I need You now..more than ever. No one could ever replace how you make me feel. Your love for me...It is so overwhelming. I want it back..I want it all back. I love You, and I will come back to You.
Amen
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Elijah is moving!!!
This is my angel.
He is getting so big!
I love it. I love him.
Thank you God for such a great blessing I get to have for life <3
Monday, April 19, 2010
So..This is it, hu? I welcome you.
Happiness is such an amazing feeling..
I am in love with it. True happiness. Nothing is fake..So real. I have been searching for this, and right when I stopped searching I found it.
*Definition of happiness: state of well-being characterized by emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.*
This is what I experience on a daily basis. Seriously, I had forgotten what this kind of happiness felt like. To be wanted, loved on, cared for in THIS way..I love it.
Someone you believe God brings into your life..Someone special to you, that you care for more than so many things. I have that someone. God provides what you need at the right time..Patience is difficult to have, but God showed me how worthwhile it is..And God did provide for me and still is.
I thank the Lord every night for everyone in my life, and I pray for happiness and joy that shines His name through me. This special someone shows God's love to me, which makes me happy.
Thank you God, for providing what I need at the right time.
I am blessed beyond explanation. You are great.
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