Set me free.

My friend showed me this video today of a skit a church put on. God was making this girl in the beginning, and throughout the skit she had went through so so much..She became one with the world it seemed..She ran after money and beauty, got mixed up with alcohol and friends...she even started to harm herself by cutting her arms and making herself puke. It was so heart touching because in the end, she was running back to God..she wanted him. She longed for him..but the things of this world kept pulling her back, they kept getting in the way of the light and pushing her into the darkness once again..She never gave up though, she kept getting back up and ran to him no matter how many time they threw her to the ground. Then..then He came. God came and rescued her from all of it. He took her pain away. He saved her..He set her free. It was so amazing..

I went through a lot of that stuff..we all do at some point it seems..and to know that we can get out of it like that, to know You are waiting for us to look beyond all of this and to You..It is so great..

God. Set me free. I'm sick of the things of this world..I want to be drowning in Your love. I want You to use me to help others. I have a longing to help people..to speak to their hearts and show them Your way Lord..I want to bring people to You..Use me to expand Your kingdom, Oh God..I love You..Set me free..Free from the hurt, the pain, the rejection..Set me free from greed, disrespect, hate..Lord, set me free from the things of this world so I can be more in love with You..I will seek you forever more.


Set me free.
I want to live for You.

Broken.

You know the feeling when you get hurt or let down time after time after time after time...? How you just get...numb? Not too sure what to say or how to act, but you know deep down in your soul there is something aching trying to get free?
This is me. I loved. I lost. I gained. I, I am numb.

When someone asks me how i feel or why i did something that hurt them so bad..I don't know how to respond. I am so hurt right now, so let down by some people, that i cannot see how i hurt someone else. Isn't that just sad? I am praying and praying to get in touch with how i feel and to keep my eyes and heart open to other people..It's just so difficult right now.

I love with all i have...and always get let down by it, and it ruins how i look at life. How i see other people..

"Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run?"
To where will you run

Why am i looking for love?
I just keep looking..and keep getting let down..
It sucks, i just don't want to stop..But i know i need to if i don't wanna keep getting hurt..

I feel so alone in this world, even though I'm not at all alone..

Help me understand these feelings..Help me gain the knowledge to move forward..


Oh Lord, help me..